Monkeys are like kids' musical toys, they repeat the same tune over and over again until you either enter a weird trance or start singing along sightly psychotically. The monkeys can pop up anytime and you never know how long they'll stay. Some monkeys have been around since you were a kid and others just visit sporadically. When you have a lot of monkeys, you get really good at seeing others' monkeys. This creates a lot of blame.
The trick at first is to spot them. They hate that. Then, when you get good at spotting them, you have to acknowledge their visit and let them know that even though they are there, you choose to love yourself anyway. Over time, you notice that they don't come around as often and then they disappear entirely. Let me introduce you to some of my monkeys:
1. You're too fat. (this one's an ape)
2. You're not beautiful. (this one came along in my early twenties...)
3. Being vulnerable is a weakness.
I can hear my mom saying: "Even though my monkey is telling me that I'm too fat, I completely and lovingly accept myself!" In reality, I have a good body that is strong, wise, and able and I know how to make my body feel good. See! That monkey's already fading away!
Someone down the street from my house threw out a HUGE monkey on the weekend! Good for them.
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