Flexing my Discomfort Muscles

My mom picked out bright turquoise for her toenails and while the pedicurist was working away at our feet, she reminisced about the time she took me to the airport the day I was leaving to live in Korea. She said I was standing there at the customs gate, a.k.a the point of no return, crying that I was scared and I didn't want to go.

This time our goodbyes have worked out better; she's leaving for a meditation retreat in Puerto Vallarta 3 days before I head off to Brazil and I'll have only the taxi driver to say goodbye to at the airport. Much better.

Maybe it's because I've been off sugar for a month now, and have had practice with that itchy me-needs-that-cookie feeling, but I've noticed that I'm much more comfortable with discomfort. I was hit by a giant teary wave of sadness as I realized I wouldn't see my mom for a long while, and I just let it be. My first thought was, this big sadness is love. And I felt okay with it.

In his post Discomfort Zone: How to Master the Universe Leo gives lots of ideas on how to master discomfort and ways to start. I especially like using meditation. Just the idea of sitting still for a few minutes makes most people uncomfortable never mind a left toe falling asleep, a right ear itching, a butt cramp, and a back ache that quickly crop up as quietness settles in. But noticing and overcoming these little aches and pains is an easy way to become used to discomfort.

Moving to Brazil will be an adventure sure to be exciting, and at times it will be too hot, too crowded, too disorganized, too loud, too salty, too weird, too slow, too polluted, too scary, too late, too different, but to follow this quote that landed in my email today: "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment." (Oneness With All Life), I'll take it all, even the annoying discomforts.

Pre-Travel Stress Busters

Five more days and we leave for Brazil. Everyone is asking me if I'm okay, if I'm ready to go, if I still have lots of things to do before I leave.  I'm not really thinking about it. There are some suitcases upstairs that get filled little by little, otherwise,

I love my days. Yesterday, I...

1. Built a train track with the kid.
2. Sewed a yoga bag for my mom.
3. Rode my bike in the sunshine.
4. Sat on a bench with my neighbor and the kid, chatting and staring into the sun.
5. Walked up to a restaurant and ate tasty noodles with the kid and my mom.
6. Got a book from my mom.
7. Got good mail from my friend Christy.
8. Found a fun game at Value Village for $3.99.
9. Sipped on chilled green drinks.
10. Was kissed with a smile by my husband.

The day before, I...

1. De-cluttered a closet.
2. Jumped on a bridge with the kid at the park.
3. Watched the kid watch a guy load garbage bins on a flatbed truck.
4. Did a strength work-out for an hour.
5. Cuddled in front of the t.v. with my husband.
6. Played street hockey with the kid.
7. Made my friend Karen's fennel orange salad.
8. Visited my husband at work.
9. Threw a load of warm laundry on my kid.
10. Read a funny book.

It's been awesome. I'm ready to go. I'm ready because I feel so loved by my friends and family, because there's family waiting for us in Rio, and because nothing in a suitcase really matters.

Robin I saw while riding my bike.

Eavesdropping on a First Date?

The kid and I decide on avocado rolls and udon, and arrive just on time for the last unoccupied table in the restaurant. It's crowded with a nice happy Friday night vibe, so were glad to squeeze in, rubbing my butt on the edge of my neighbor's table as I try to elegantly get by without knocking over their cutlery. The kid and I sit side by side on a booth looking out on the other patrons and get busy creating toy scenes while we wait for a menu. My thigh is practically touching the lady next to me, and it's almost impossible not to eavesdrop. Two women on our left sit in total silence, one with her arms crossed and looking completely beat, so overhearing the conversation on the right was quite inevitable. 

- So, how did your family take it when you came out?

- oh, okay, I guess, I tried to tell my mom that I was bi when I was 12, but she just laughed it off. Later on, she kinda got the picture and she's okay about it now. Oh, wait I'm getting a text from my friend. She's asking me if you're bang-able. ah, ah, ah! Have you done the Pride? I did mine for the first time last summer, it was so much fun, but I got heatstroke and I was with my friend who is super whiny, you know, and she wouldn't stop complaining about how far we had to walk 'cause the buses were too full. What about you? What did your family say when you came out?

-My parents were shocked, but my sister was cool with it, so they were okay with it after a while.
-Well, I've dated boys and girls, but my last 4 girlfriends just drove me crazy, too much drama, you know? So I'm into guys now. When did you become a vegan? Oh, wait my friend is texting me, she wants to know where's a good sushi place in Chilliwack. There's this one place that's pretty good, you know, but not as good as here. Should we get the bill?

The ladies left, the udon arrived. The kid and I happily filled our bellies. The silent, tired ladies on the right perked up when their rolls were served. That's a slice of life on the Drive, no?

Packing Kids Toys

Ah! I love Value Village, don't you? Last summer, when I got my sewing machine, I went there and found a huge bag of different colored zippers mostly about a hand's length. So you ask, what are you going to do with these zippers, make mini parkas for the kids' stuffed animals? Cute idea, but no.  I've made a ton of pouches for all the multi-piece toys we plan to bring to Brazil with us.  They pack way better than boxes and the kid already knows which game is inside by the color of the zipper. I've also made some for myself to contain my art supplies, jewelry, intimates, etc...Definitely my newest favorite thing.

Lady Lemon Delight vs Mr. Sandy Lump

A friend of mine and I had just came back from a nice walk in the Endowment Lands, and decided to stop in for tea at a new shop on MacKenzie and 33rd. As I drove by, I noticed it was "Butter". Have you ever had any baked goods from there? It's called BUTTER people, you do the math! F****ING A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I hardly put my foot on the brake, kept driving and yelled, "It's Butter! We can't go in there for tea! Nooooooooo!" My friend looked a bit confused.

That was a close call.

Last night I had a dream I was on a huge cruise line with everyone I've ever known. This didn't seem weird at all, and the 5 mile long dessert buffet didn't either. There was every cake, tart, muffin, pudding, cookie you could imagine all there on display, like exotic jewels in a case. I was running along the tables trying to find my kid.

Must be the sugar withdrawal.

So in an attempt to appease this madness, I found a "healthier" cookie recipe with oat flour, banana, coconut oil and raisins which ended up tasting like little mounds of sand with the occasional sweet ping of a raisin. There's no use in making "pretend cookies" when my mind is dreaming of chocolate chips, butter, and sugar.

So I had a green drink.

Then some Valentines came to the door: chocolate and cookies. An hour later, another knock on the door, this time homemade lemon bars. I can hear those sour-sweet yellow bars of sunshine singing happy polka tunes in my cupboard. "We are so sweeeeet, and you know it! Bite me like you meeeeean it, um-pa-pa!"

Husband to the rescue?

Lady Lemon Delight vs Mr. Sandy Lump

I think I lied when I said that I don't crave sweets since I've taken sugar out of my diet. Obviously, I do, but the reasons for eating sweets are never ending; seems there's special occasion every other day, and so tonight I win my battle with a Medjool date and a cup of tea. Take that!

A Loud Call of Chips and Wine!

Habits. Aren't they oddly more noticeable in others than in ourselves? Maybe it was the recent never ending string of colds and flu or a last chance to make a resolution, but I decided to make some changes to my diet and my overall health.

It's not because of my age, or because I have a kid, or because of breastfeeding or because my husband doesn't eat as well as I think he should, or because he should be exercising more or because nobody ever calls me to motivate me to go out and exercise,  or "at least I think I do more than so-and-so friend, or because my work-out clothes are ugly, it's not because it's too dark, or too cold, or too rainy or too late, or too early, or because "The Good Wife" is on. It's BECAUSE of ME. I have adopted habits and beliefs, seemingly some without my own knowing,  that are not working for me.

1. Spending too much time in coffee shops with or without my friends and their kids drinking coffees and eating muffins, cookies or biscuits.
2. Telling myself that I need something sweet to feel like my meal is over? (wtf? this one is weird.)
3. Baking is better than store-bought, which might be true, but not if I end up eating 10 of the 12 muffins I baked.
4. I don't like most veggies.
5. I'm not overweight.

So for the last two weeks or so I've been implementing some new or forgotten habits to my routine...

1. Daily green drink. One first thing in the morning and one at 3pm.
2. Five minute meditation just before my husband leaves for work while he plays with the kid.
3. No sugar, honey, jam, yogurt, milk, cheese, white rice, wheat toast and pasta, pancakes, muffins, maple syrup, butter, and eggs. Hardly any meat and if so only the size of my palm.
4. If I can skip coffee I do, if not, I put a tiny bit of milk in my coffee.
5. More greens; broccoli, kale, collards, lettuce, green beans, cucumbers, and fresh herbs.
6. My snacks are less coffee, muffins, raisins, toast with jam, dried fruit, cookies, and waffles and more apples, almonds, ginger tea, blueberries, and green drinks.
7. I go for the 60-40 rule; 60% of my plate consists of veggies or fruit.
8. Daily activity: I've found a variety of neat yoga, strength training and cardio workouts on youtube, and I make a point of doing at least 30 minutes every day especially if I can't make it outside to exercise. Cafemom Studios and Ekhart Yoga are great!

and I've noticed some significant changes:

1. No more bloating, gas, stomach aches, and heavy lethargic feelings after meals.
2. Fruits that didn't used to taste that sweet like apples and berries are super sweet to me now.
3. I crave sweets much less and I've been more or less able to curb these cravings with distractions or ginger tea. This is the biggest daily challenge. It's funny, I found myself online one afternoon searching for "healthier" desserts for almost 3 hours!!! Crazy.
5. I don't feel deprived when I see others eating a bacon and egg breakfast of champions, a mountain of nachos, or slices of chocolate pecan pie. It's funny, I thought I would, but it seems my body has taken over my mind and happily steers me towards the fruits and veggies.

I had one relapse. There was this bag of chips, not a bag of pretend healthy, organic pita chips, real O'lays salty, crispy chips leftover from a party we had. It was Friday, 5pm, time for wine and chips? Right? OMG. Pain, cramps and dizziness. Wine and chips? What was I thinking?

How long do they say it takes for habits to form?  21 days? Well, I'm game for 21 days and maybe even for more! What habits would you like to put in gear? Check out what Leo has to say about sticking to a habit on his blog and let me know how you're coming along!

Spinning off Sweat

If you've curiously spied on a spinning class from a far corner of the gym as you were comfortably seated in your stationary bike, reading an outdated crinkled gossip magazine, you might think that it's basically a bunch of people on fancier stationary bikes, pedaling to loud music and being yelled at by a very fit-looking instructor in fashionable neon running shoes. Kinda but not entirely. Spying is one thing, doing it, is quite another.

There was only 6 of us, one other "first day" lady and a self-proclaimed hung-over man. I was secretly happy that I wasn't using the bike next to him, fearing alcohol infused sweat fumes, chucked my stuff in a corner and got settled. The instructor, a woman in her mid-thirties, adjusted my bike seat and handle bars and welcomed me. I was instantly put at ease by her cheerfulness and thankful that she, like pretty much everyone else in the class, had some extra weight to lose.

Two minutes into the class, I realized I was in for a major sweat fest. Of course you can go at your own pace and adjust the resistance, but the interval exercises pretty much give you a serious workout even with minimum resistance. Plus, the music sort of dictates how fast you're going, unless you're one of those people who doesn't mind being the wonky looking one in the pack. Trying to stop or slow down too fast doesn't work either, the momentum of the bike keeps going while your legs do weird knee jerks for several rotations.  Not very cool looking.

Did I mention this was an hour long class? About half way, hung-over man started making moaning sounds, but kept up the pace. Sweat was collecting on my handle bars and when I grabbed my towel to wipe it up, I noticed a sticker warning patrons to stop using this equipment if they feel dizzy. Dizzy? What about feeling nauseous? That's what 600 calories burned an hour feels like. Twenty minutes more of interval pedaling, sprinting and climbing and voila! Done! My first spinning class.

Am I hooked? No. I enjoyed the intensity of it, it's different than any other exercise I've done, so I'll probably incorporate it in my workouts, but I'll bring a bigger towel next time.