Flexing my Discomfort Muscles

My mom picked out bright turquoise for her toenails and while the pedicurist was working away at our feet, she reminisced about the time she took me to the airport the day I was leaving to live in Korea. She said I was standing there at the customs gate, a.k.a the point of no return, crying that I was scared and I didn't want to go.

This time our goodbyes have worked out better; she's leaving for a meditation retreat in Puerto Vallarta 3 days before I head off to Brazil and I'll have only the taxi driver to say goodbye to at the airport. Much better.

Maybe it's because I've been off sugar for a month now, and have had practice with that itchy me-needs-that-cookie feeling, but I've noticed that I'm much more comfortable with discomfort. I was hit by a giant teary wave of sadness as I realized I wouldn't see my mom for a long while, and I just let it be. My first thought was, this big sadness is love. And I felt okay with it.

In his post Discomfort Zone: How to Master the Universe Leo gives lots of ideas on how to master discomfort and ways to start. I especially like using meditation. Just the idea of sitting still for a few minutes makes most people uncomfortable never mind a left toe falling asleep, a right ear itching, a butt cramp, and a back ache that quickly crop up as quietness settles in. But noticing and overcoming these little aches and pains is an easy way to become used to discomfort.

Moving to Brazil will be an adventure sure to be exciting, and at times it will be too hot, too crowded, too disorganized, too loud, too salty, too weird, too slow, too polluted, too scary, too late, too different, but to follow this quote that landed in my email today: "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment." (Oneness With All Life), I'll take it all, even the annoying discomforts.

In Search of Fish Tacos in Rio de Janeiro

So I've been challenged these days. Can you guess what's been the most challenging?

The 3 week cough that went away for a day and then returned as a head cold?
The yummy gingerbread people in my cupboard, singing carols on a continuous loop, testing my patience, knowing that the only way to shut them up is to eat them?
The crusty road rash spread across my son's face after a nasty face plant off his bike?
Telling my mother that her Friday dates with her grandson will be on hold until we come back from our 2 year relocation to Brazil?
Is it the paper chase and important document round-up?
Is it listening to a prospective renter tell me that she's been living in a former grow-op full of mold, mice and electrical issues while her other place is being re-mediated for leaks, and on and on and oh, by the way, do I think that it would be okay to keep a 5 foot freezer full or frozen middle-eastern food on the back patio?
Is it the ever growing list of things to do before we leave? Nope, none of those things.

Staying in the moment is the real challenge. That and doing less. For a few days, I carried around a mental list of "things we need to bring", mostly spurred on by expats in Rio listing off everything they miss from home, and I suddenly I had this belief that I need certain things to be comfortable while I'm away; like my natural toothpaste, and certain type of sandals for my kid, and a blow up pool to set on the bottom of the showers 'cause they don't have tubs, and a life jacket for swimming in the pool at grandpa's and a replacement-less-fancy-so-I-don't-get-mugged wedding ring to wear while I'm down there, and hard-to-find spices and.... Are you reading this insanity?

Those things don't matter. Yes, there will be things down there that cost more, some things will be hard to find or impossible to find and I will miss organic dark chocolate, fish tacos and English books, but that's all part of the adventure, isn't it? Because if it's all like home, then why go at all, right?

In the end, there will be a suitcase sitting at the foot of my bed. There will be only a limited amount of space. Us three, will be on that plane, together, but our suitcases might be bound for Taiwan by mistake...

In the end, someone else might be living in our house,
they might decide to store a skidoo or a stuffed moose on the back patio.
Or maybe our house will stay vacant, quietly waiting for us to come home.

In the end, we'll say goodbye to loved ones and we will cry.
And later, especially when the kid does something cool
or when we're celebrating something special,
we'll wish we could be with them for real.

So, to meet this challenge, here's what I've done in this moment; I've put a ready-made frozen lasagna in the oven, I've sat myself down on the couch while my kid watches cartoons, and I'm looking at photos of our past trips to Brazil, remembering all that is wonderful about it. Mission accomplished!

In Vancouver, maybe a seal would swim up to your boat, but in Brazil it's a manatee!

Now, that's what I call a vacation!

My father-in-law makes my favorite Brazilian dish; prawn and cassava stew!

Farmer's Market

This is the beach in Barra the Tijuca, where I'll be living. No seaweed here!

Can't wait to take the kid up to see the Corcovado on the train!