Equalizing Bad News

These days, the adult world is filled with disbelief and sorrow. The internet and the news is ballooning with updates and details of the horrific shooting in Connecticut. The madness is contagious, it spreads and spreads, people are angry, blaming guns, blaming government, blaming laws, blaming the system, blaming the shooter...and it continues. How could this have happened? The question lingers and lingers and we cling to the news in search of a reasonable answer.

I decided to put my fingers in my ears, and sing la, la, la, la, la, la! I've decided to return to the kid's world of anticipating Santa's arrival, shiny trees and holiday parties with neighbors and to leave the horrific adult world out of my house and my mind. Is it denial or lack of compassion? I don't think so. It's choosing to stop spreading the bad news. I heard it once. I cried for the families. And now it's time to return to joy, to equalize the negative energy in this world with positivity and love.

Last night, we were invited to a neighbor's house a party. Our hosts, Jeff and Karissa, hung a festive balloons from their ceiling, offered a mountain of food, poured wine generously, hired a balloon artist, and even took apart their bedroom to set up a bouncy castle for the kids. We were happily crowded together carving out spaces to sit on the stairs and all the kids were unbelievably well behaved. Everyone was so happy to see each other, having been cooped up indoors since October and missing our daily sidewalk chit-chats. I got teary-eyed for a moment, thinking of all the places I have lived where neighbors hardly make eye contact when you greet them. I was so grateful for the wonderful community that lives around me; neighbors who actually love to be together.

Surrounding ourselves with good people, that is the way to possibly soften, a tiny bit, the atrocity in Connecticut. To remember, that our true nature is to be loving, caring people.

Good Mail via Snail Mail

I've been writing by hand this month. I don't know how this came about exactly, but I think it started when I decided to fill my husband's work mailbox with good mail. And then, I decided that my faraway good friend, who was not having the best time, also needed some mail. I collected "treasures" that could be written on and mailed; chopsticks, stickers, postcards, menus, cartoons, recipes and even candy.  As I was writing, I also became more and more aware of different pens and how they write. At first, I rummaged in my households' pencil holders, but unsatisfied with most pens we had, I finally "permanently adopted" my husband's fancy work pen.

Think of all the time we spend typing and texting. We hardly even sign our names anymore or write the date on things. It's not only the art of letter writing that has disappeared, but also the way we write with a pen or a pencil. Our fingers cramp. I noticed the other day when I was writing with a pencil that I instantly felt like a kid again. I was reminded that it's hard to keep the lines straight when the paper is blank and that I haven't licked a stamp in forever, but still remember that slightly sweet glue taste.

Sending and receiving a letter feels the same as giving or receiving a gift, doesn't it? When we open the mail box, absentmindedly flipping through the bills and flyers, and we discover some good mail, it's like a mini Christmas morning, isn't it?  We pay attention to the stamp, the envelope, and the paper. We recognize the handwriting and we miss that person suddenly. We might save reading that letter for a quieter time in our day when we can relax and read it uninterrupted. Good mail is more than just words; a postcard is like a flying kiss and a four page letter is like a long hug.

It's been a rediscovery for me. I decided to read more about people who write by hand, and visited a shop near my house that lets you type a letter on their vintage typewriters; it was super fun and I'll probably make it habit to go regularly. While I was there, I treated myself to some nice stationery and free tea and cookies. I know that letter writing is not as easy as sending an email or texting on your phone, but it's more fun! Here are some tips I found useful to get back in the handwriting groove:

• Next time you visit the post office, buy a book of stamps and keep them in your wallet along with the addresses of a handful of people you want to write to regularly. 
• Have fun selecting the stamps and don't be afraid to ask the clerk to show you what else is in the stamp drawer; I once had a boyfriend who was very particular about using "just the right stamp" for the right person, and it really did add a "je-ne-sais-quoi" to his letters. 
• Start small. A post card, a thank you card, or a comic cut out of the paper. Be imaginative about what constitutes a letter, usually if it's about the thickness of a Ryvita cracker it's good to go with a regular stamp.
• Write to different people; a thank you note to your local coffee shop owners who brew that perfect cup, an idea or suggestion to your mayor, or a letter of encouragement to yourself.
• Don't expect anything in return. Just anticipate in your mind, the surprised look on your loved one's face when they open their mailbox.

Hooray for snail mail!
Renew your Canada Post patronage!
Send some love!

The view from my letter writing spot.

Collecting the Grieving Greens

"Mommy sad ", says my 2 year old son to me as I sit on the kitchen floor waiting for beets to cook through. "You're right. Mommy sad. Can I have a hug?"

When I received the sad news this morning that a friend from the past had passed away, a multitude of feelings overtook me. Today, I let these feelings flow by. I notice them, feel them and let them go. I honor my friend by thinking of her and the friendship we had. Time passed and our paths changed directions, but she often popped into my mind and I wondered how she was. And then, I would run into her on the street and we'd chat. We promised to meet, but we never did. But it was okay. I could tell she wished me happiness and I did too.

It's a good day to garden. Being yardless is a good thing for a green gardener like me. My patios are small and contain my grandiose ideas of wild, overgrown, gardens with hidden paths and water fountains. I've started to collect pots, herbs and plants. Advice too. I hope to create a space where I can sit when the weather is more consistently warm to rest my body and my mind. A place to feel the wind and sun while my boy is napping.

It's soothing to nurture nature while thoughts of my friend pass by. She's not fighting anymore. I wish wild overgrown gardens overtake those she left behind, hide them and let them be lulled by water fountains. Let them be at peace too.