Crazy Sexy Coincidence?

Okay, here’s this weird thing that happens to me every once in a while. The greater-powers-at-be try to tell me something; like it’s time now for me to exercise. So they put an ad at the grocery store for free exercise classes, which I read and promptly forget about, and then they put a guy in the grocery line-up in front of me who happens to be fantastic trainer,  but we talk about avocados instead. And then the powers-at-be start to argue about taking radical action, but failing consensus, leave me with a headache that turns into a neck pain that morphs into an excruciating back pain.

So my latest experience of this “phenomenon” started with a video a cousin posted on Facebook featuring among many other health experts, Kris Carr, actress, filmmaker, and best selling author of “The Crazy Sexy Diet”. For some reason she stood out to me. Not two days later, I was over at my mothers’ house for dinner and on her counter, she had her copy of “The Crazy Sexy Diet”. Weird. Coincidence? Maybe. But not worth ignoring given the neck pain I’ve had lately.

Okay, so don’t roll your eyes and say: Diet? No thanks! Believe you me, I’ve never been and will never be on a diet. Instead enjoy the read. Kris writes like your best “tell-you-like-it-is” girlfriend, half the time reading your mind as you’re thinking: no cheese, are you f&*%&ing crazy? And it’s probably because of this that you can finish the book and instantly find yourself on board with her message; “Eat your veggies, ignite your spark, and live like you mean it.” So to give a little taster and encourage you to get your own copy, here’s what I’ve taken away from her book.

-       The 80/20 ratio: A plate divided like a pie should include 80% fresh, organic alkaline foods found in a “garden”.

-       Suga’ and his posse friends like corn syrup, dextrose, and fruit juice concentrate are crack. Those guys loiter around waiting for a moment when you feel a wee-bit-tired to tempt you with raunchy displays of firm muffins with huge tops bursting with juicy fruit bits.

-       Green juice is the “New venti double shot, non-fat, soy latte” pick-me-up, and trust me, I drank one this morning, and I had the biggest buzz.

-       Once your body has a taste of what it’s like to be “crazy= bold, out-of –the-box, forward thinking and status quo challenging, and sexy=confident, in touch, whole, passionate and conscious”, it’s becomes a non-issue to let go of caffeine, sugar, milk, dairy products, meat, preservatives, and alcohol.

As I’ve been greening myself more and more, and I can’t say that I will completely give up coffee, cheese and wine, I’m enjoying some cool benefits:

Without the cream and sugar, I can actually taste the coffee I’m drinking and I’m noticing the flavor differences as I would wine.

I’ve replaced cheese for sun salutations, and afternoon muffin breaks with meditation. Good bye, neck pain!

I’ve switched taking showers before bed to during nap times to give myself time to dry-brush my lizardness off, and give myself coconut oil-eucalyptus-lavender massages. Ummm...sexy!

Most of all, I feel significantly lighter and less bogged down. Oh, ya, baby! Sexy Crazy! Bring it on! Listen to your powers-at-be, you’ve just read this post, after all!

Latest Secret Zumba Night

What's "Secret Zumba Night"? It's a chance to go out and do whatever a momma pleases without feeling like she has to share the details with other members of the family. Yesterday afternoon, my secret zumba activity included a brisk walk up to the local dinner/bar, The Tipper, which I meant to visit ever since we moved to this neighborhood. There were three people sitting at the bar watching the hockey game, and it was weird after all these months of no hockey to hear that familiar hockey tv background noise. I sat in a booth, ordered a glass of wine, chips and salsa and read the Vancouver Sun front to back. The vibe at the Tipper is relaxed, there are colorful paintings of East Vancouver scenery displayed along the walls, and the menu seems to offer good old diner fare. I'll be sure to go back and try out Sunday brunch. Eggs Benny..yum.

A Secret Birthday

Today is your 3rd birthday. You've been sick this week, so we cancelled your party and stayed away from your friends. This morning we didn't shower you with gifts, we decided to reserve all the hoopla for next weekend, but unbeknownst to you, I've been celebrating you today. We pulled out the photo album with pictures of you in my belly and I talked to you about the day you were born. I erased all of my plans today, and I let you make all the decisions; you picked what you wanted to eat, what you wanted to play, where you wanted to go and I completely focused on you.

Family and friends are starting to call to wish you a happy birthday, so the secret is out, but while it lasted, I really enjoyed celebrating you quietly, attentively, reverently, just as we did the day you were born. I love you baby boy. Happy 3rd birthday!

Thoughts I live By

I've never been one for quotes or motivational posters. I don't stick notes in my home or at work to remind me that I'm beautiful, or collect rocks with words like peace or love etched on them. I'm also not too big on affirmations, they usually end up feeling like a nagging roommate sticking post-it notes here and there to remind me, yet again, to put away the milk.

All that being said, as I was thinking over this last year, I've noticed things I say to myself on a consistent basis. These thoughts live inside me, so I don't need to write them down or make a poster out of them. Here are my top 4. Plus one from my mom.

There is only the present moment.
Make it simpler.
How can I create today?
I forgive me.

This too shall pass.

These have served me well in 2012, so I'm keeping them for 2013. What about you? What thoughts do you live by?

Taking a Phlegm Day Off

I am grateful for phlegm. Yup, you read it right, phlegm. When most of us suddenly find ourselves back at the gym or working on our resolutions with gusto, thanks to my son, and his rolling ball of green phlegm, we've sitting in neutral; reading, watching videos and sipping on fruit shakes. A small part of me wishes I could invent some kind of vacuum that would suck the sickness out of him, especially when he wakes up in the night because his drool pooled around his face , but on the other hand, I appreciate the opportunity to slow down and do less. I'm going to call this, 'taking a phlegm day off.'

I think most of us have forgotten how to slow down, even in times when we're supposed to slow down, like when we're sick or on vacation, it seems we actually speed up: maximizing our time off to complete chores, fix the house, visit friends and family, and going out. But, by the Old English definition, the word vacation, means "rest and freedom from any activity." Rest and freedom from any activity, not taking a 10 hour red-eye flight to an exotic place, or cooking a ten course meal for family or shopping the crowded malls to get the best Boxing Day deals and rushing back to work to catch up on work that supposedly piled up while everyone else was also on holidays. No, not that.

Of course, you don't have to be sick to take a phlegm day off, you just have to imagine you live in a cabin in the woods without electricity, and let any of these slower activities slide into your day organically; sleeping in, reading in bed, napping, taking leisurely walks with no destination and no designated time to get back, eating whole foods with minimal cooking, any activity with pen and paper like drawing, crosswords, sudoku or writing a letter to a friend, drinking tea, or petting an animal. Do you remember the last time you had a real phlegm day?

Dating Mr. Us

In a marriage there are 3 people. Obviously there's you and your partner. That's easy to see, because you are both physically there, but there is another "person", I'll call him "Mr. Us". Mr. Us is harder to see and often gets lost, mostly because he's not human, but also because he tends to hide when life gets too full with responsibilities, chores, kids, and stress.

Mr. Us doesn't like to be ignored for too long though, and because he's not human, he can't say things like: "Hey! Hey you there! Look at me! I'm bored!", but he uses other weird ways to get noticed. One of his ways is to make you forget you're a wife or a husband by putting the focus of your attention on the other roles you have like worker, parent, sibling, volunteer etc..so much so that your partner starts to feel like a roommate instead of a spouse. Then, Mr. Us, and this is his favorite way to get noticed because it amuses him a lot, will amplify your "roommate's" annoying little habits so much so that you'll start to think things like, why did I marry this person?, or will this person ever change?

So what's the best way to stop Mr. Us' crazy ways? To pay attention to him of course! He can be demanding; requiring daily attention and a variety of activities on a regular basis. This can be the trickier part, but can easily be incorporated in daily life with just a bit of attention. His favorite activities are intimacy, open communication, fun, laughter, novelty, compliments, adventure, physical touch, acts of service, learning, sharing and gifts. Most of these activities come in a bundle, so if you can make one happen, others will automatically happen. Mr. Us likes this a lot.

When my husband and I first met, Mr. Us was super happy. We took him out to dinner to every restaurant in town, took him on road trips to the States, flew him to Brazil, shared many bottles of wine and had long conversations with him, floated him down a raft in some rapids, took him to see movies, shared our wedding with him etc... The list is long. And then, slowly, and mostly after the kid, Mr. Us got ignored more and more and started acting up. But I know him. I know his sneaky ways and his shenanigans when he feels left out. I know how to head him off before it's too late. I have tricks up my sleeve.

When I notice myself getting annoyed by my husband's little habits, the things he didn't do or the ones he didn't do right, I say to myself: "Hold your horses!" First, I take inventory of what's going on with me. Have I put myself or my health on the back burner? If the answer is yes, then that's the first thing I take care of. Once that's done, then I ask myself, when was the last time we had real fun just the two of us together? Even though I've read how important it is to schedule a "date night" we've only set this in motion recently, and it's been awesome. What scheduling does, is put Mr. Us at the forefront, which he loves!

"Date nights" also allow for meaningful conversation even though talking is not always mandatory. It's also okay if the only way you can come up with meaningful conversation is to prepare questions on a piece of paper or steal ideas from a book or the internet. Especially if you're like us and the conversation always falls back to the kid. Here's a sample of questions Mr. Us likes:

• The kind of relationship we have is. . .
• One way in which we are alike, is. . .
• One way in which we are different, is. .
• I feel closest to you when. . .
• What I like best in our relationship is. . .
• In five years, I see us. . .
• Something you have helped me learn about myself is. . .
• I have most fun with you when. . .
• What I think I could have done to make your day better is...

So, make yourself, your spouse and your marriage happy, schedule a date night right now! Sit down together and find ways you can satisfy Mr. Us! It's the only way to go! Pretend you've only just met. What would you be doing together? What would you be talking about?