Slow on the Ball?

School is in again. We hear the bell from the elementary school up the street, and when the kid hears it, he always says: Dinner time! It's funny.  Even if you're not in school or have kids in school, you still notice it; there are parents doing hurried maneuvers in their cars to get their kids in on time, there are more students crowding the buses and spacing out with their phones, suddenly teenagers resurface and loiter casually in the parks, and community centers start their new programming. There's a burst of energy all around.

I missed the "did you sign your kid up for some classes?" frenzy. Oh, well. I was a bit slow on the ball on that one. Didn't get online at exactly 9am when the swimming registration opened, didn't stand in line in June to get in the September gymnastics classes, didn't remember my password to sign in for music classes.... Poor kid. I'm not sure if it was laziness or just sincere denial that fall was upon us. I think it might be partly rebellion...

It reminds me of when I was pregnant and everyone made a point of asking me if I had put the kid's name down on some daycare list and shockingly looking at me when I said I hadn't as if I had already failed at being a good parent. You know, the kind of parent that thinks years ahead and stands in a snow storm to get on the list of the "super-supremo daycare" to win brownie points with the peers. "Oh yes, we got in because we put junior's name down for  "Little Lucky Rainbow Teddy Bear Daycare" the day after conception. I got up at 5am with my positive pee-stick in my pocket to be the first at the door. Thank goodness, because, where else can you find an all-wood toy, child-centered, organic snack, multi-lingual daycare with caregivers who are not only professional musicians and singers, but also sew all the uniforms by hand with organic bamboo grown in the daycare garden.? And all for only $4000 a month?"

Am I missing the point? Am I supposed "fight" for my kid's "education"? Is it just a fact of life these days? Maybe it is. My mom told me that when I was a kid, she would get up early on registration day to get to the community center and sign me up for swimming lessons. So maybe this is not new. I wonder if we, the parents, are in a hurry to see our kids learn new things, partly because it's so much fun, but also because it feels good to be proud of our kid when they accomplish something new. I can't tell you how impressed I was to see my two year old crack eggs without any shell bits falling in the bowl, but does it mean I need to sign him up for cooking classes? If I don't sign him up for any classes, does that make me a bad mom? Am I not maximizing his learning potential? I don't know. I did, however, remember to renew our membership to the Aquarium. So at least there will be snack time with the baby-lugas. (belugas)

a first day of school with my brother

En Francais, oh la la!

I'm having trouble beginning this post, mostly because what I'm trying to share is not easy to describe without getting all academic. I recently attended a workshop with other French speaking parents about language and identity where questions were posed which I've listed below. Most brought up strong emotions for me.

1. En reflechissant a vos experiences passees racontez-moi ou vous viviez dans un espace francophone qui vous permettait, a vous, votre famille, vos amis, vos enfants, vos collegues, vos voisins,... de vous epanouir, de creer des liens entre vous et de construire votre identite en tant que personne. Ou etiez vous? Qu'est-ce qui se passait? Comment decririez-vous cet espace francophone? Qu'est-ce qui le distinguait? Qui a joue un role dans la creation de cet espace francophone et comment?
2. Parlez moi d'une personne, dans votre millieu francophone, qui a eu un grand impact sur vous et sur ce que vous etes devenu comme personne?
3. Comment, en tant que parent, pourriez-vous devenir un modele d'appui a la francophonie pour votre enfant?
4. Quels gestes posez-vous pour vous enraciner, comme francophone en Colombie-Britannique? Quels gestes posez-vous pour vous deraciner?

• Think back in your life and tell me about a time when you lived in a French "space" which allowed you, your family, your friends, your children  your collegues your neighbors, to really be yourself, to create bonds with each other and to build your identity as the person you are now. Where were you? What was going on? How would you describe this "space"? What was special about it? Who played a role in the creation of this "space" and how?
• Tell me about a person in your French community, who had a significant impact on you and on becoming who you are as a person.
• How, as a parent could you become a "French-speaking" model for your child?
• What actions do you take to strengthen your French roots while living in BC? Which actions do you take which do not?

After some contemplation and in a nut shell:

• Speaking French and being with others who do too is part of who I am.
• It was something that shaped me as a person. It allowed me to experience unique things.
• I may be completely immersed in an English community now, but it can't be erased.
• There's a part of me that identifies with the Anglo-slightly spiced Asian feel of Vancouver, but I crave the comfort and "joie-de-vivre" of French speaking culture.
• Letting French go, is like letting myself go. (In the getting lazy-fat way, not the freedom way.)
• It's important to me to reconnect with my French identity and to share it with my son.
• It's a connection to his ancestors and his roots which needs to be nurtured.

So what do I do so far to live as a French speaker now?

• I listen to Espace Musique every day on CBC.
• I borrow books and magazines in French from the library.
• I speak about %60 of the time to my son in French.
• I read all his books (French or English) and sing all the songs I know in French.
• I attend "Franc-Depart" at l'Ecole Anne-Hebert once or twice a month.
• I crave cheese and make crepes on Sundays. :)

Could I do more?  Of course I can.

• Attend community events or library sing-alongs.
• Go to "Franc-Depart" more frequently.
• Find a French-speaking community for myself.
• Read and write in French, plus figure out how to add the accents on my computer.
• Re-record my answering machine message.
• Sign-up for Quebec Loisirs and Scholastics.
• Switch to Telus to access children's programs in French, Caillou is Calliou after all!

Why am I writing this in English then? Because I think that this can apply to anyone who speaks another language other than English. Even if you've lost some of it or even most of it. Even if only your parents speak it. It's so important to foster these languages and the culture around them as they are part of you and inevitably will be part of your children. Your dad is French and your mom is Russian, but grew up in Morocco, isn't that cool?

And to the countless people who have told me over the years. "Oh, I tried French in high school and the teacher was a strict b*****, so I gave up." So what? " But I forget the words and I can't spell." No excuses. Try again. Or try Portuguese, or Lebanese, reconnect to your roots or your interests. You'll thank yourself later.  I invite you to share your answers to the questions above and share your stories with me. Just click on the post to access the comment section. A bientot!

Vieux Port de Montreal