Spend Less Challenge Accomplished!

I completed my spend less challenge today on the eve of Canada's birthday! AND I am $90 under budget even after spending almost $200 on repairing and tuning my husband's bike. My best budget-trimming tricks were:

• I rode my bike with the kid which prevented me from going into stores.
• I consciously made an effort not to buy clothes, toys and doodads for the house.
• I used my 30 day list and made do without.
• I tried to fill my time doing things for others.
• I spent time reading ZenHabits and incorporated minimalist ideas in my home and my way of being.

free art

 

 

 

I'm not sure if I believe that it takes 21 days to break a habit, but I can say that after a month of spending less on "stuff" and keeping "junk" out of the house, it has almost become automatic to ask myself, do I really need this? and almost 99% of the time, the answer is no. I don't need it if it's on sale, and I don't need it if it's free. It's freeing to say no. Less shopping means more time for strawberry picking, bike riding, chatting with friends, making bird-houses, singing Oh Canada, baking muffins, blowing bubbles, and writing.

Wanna Wear a Cape?

Wearing a cape instantly gives you an air of mystery with a touch of weirdness. When caped people walk by, we subtly do a double take and ask ourselves, why is this person wearing a cape? Hopefully they're in a marching band, or part of a historical reenactment because wearing a cape for no reason is weird, right?

But isn't it cool too? An air of mystery with a touch of weirdness? You're might be wondering why I'm going on about this cape thing? I was just thinking about my inner voice. You know, the part of you that is intact, the way you were as a child. That voice that quietly yet relentlessly reminds you to be authentic when you find yourself being pulled by fears of failure and judgement. There are many ways to hear this little voice, some meditate, pray, journal or abandon themselves to their hobby or passion, but I think that as long as you can be silent for a moment, you can hear it.

When my son naps the house is quiet and I can hear mine asking me to do more art, more drawing, more writing. It wants more laughter, more quirkiness, more silliness, more color and more fun. It calls for simplicity but also for folly. So that's how the cape came to mind. I had a friend in university who wore a dark green, floor length, wool cape. She painted her living room coral pink with huge green palm trees. By the window she had a huge leopard print lounge chair and stacks of books scattered all around. You could tell that she listened to her inner voice and acted on it's desires. Because of this, she was also surrounded by interesting people; inventors, artists, perfumers, writers and designers. I loved hanging out at her place.

It seems we, just as most species on earth seem to be biologically wired to blend in and bond to others to survive and that probably explains why we stop wearing our batman pajamas to school around grade 1. We learn quickly that the weird kids have a hard time making friends and we leave our costumes at home. Over time, because of this, we lose our ability to be who we truly are (which explains why so many of us wear Lululemon yoga uniforms and insist on granite countertops.)

If I am truly honest with myself, I can admit that I am jealous of that friend with the cape, or that man with the tattooed torso, or that neighbor with the Harley, or that kid in pajamas and rubber boots. Because they are listening to their inner voice and acting on it. What could I do today to actualize my inner voice?

a quiet moment on the sofa

Bringing Home Nothing

Still on my simplicity binge and it's been 3 weeks now that I have vowed not to bring things home aside from food and basics like toilet paper. I did break down twice. I bought a toy and a shirt. I won't use excuses like it was on sale, or it was used or made by a local designer. Although I did break down a bit, I am getting used to leaving the house and coming home with nothing. Not a twig, or a newspaper or an empty coffee cup.

One trick I found useful to avoid stores is to ride your bike. It's super annoying to lock your bike up, untie the kid, and deal with the helmets plus, without the stroller, corralling the kid in a store takes up way too much physical agility and negotiation power. Bike window shopping is the way to go!

Another realization I've had that really puts a stick in my simplicity wheel, is that I grocery shop too often. It seems I go to the store 4-5 times a week. This is partly due because I can't seem to find one store which carries both wonderful produce and decently priced staples without breaking the bank. The sensible part of me wants to responsibly plan menus for the week and make a detailed list of what we need, but the other part of me wants to eat pasta all week if it means I can veg on the couch for an hour before I have to head to bed. The problem with this is that I have very random stuff in my fridge and I'm just not a good enough cook to make something delicious with a can of black olives, oranges, bread, tomato paste, and kale. So back to the store I go. Gotta figure out a way off this grocery hamster wheel.

When I still lived at home, my mom would shop only on Saturday mornings. If we were pigs and ate all the cheese in one day, then too bad, no more cheese until the next Saturday. Often Friday would roll around, the fridge was practically empty and my mom would make something super yummy with with a can of black olives, oranges, bread, tomato paste, and kale...

I wonder where I got this idea that the fridge has to be well stocked at all times. It's okay to run out of bread or cheese for a day or two, isn't it? Once my mom told me that she always keep a big basket of toilet paper rolls in the bathroom because when she was little, and having too many siblings to count, they often ran out, and now she just can't relax unless there's a full basket in plain view. Maybe that's the same thing with me and the fridge?

Anyways, I will figure something out. Stay tuned.

Thanks for Bossing Me Around Kid

So, what's with the sudden impulse I've had to simplify and purge for last few weeks? I was having a little venting session with my neighbor, a mother of two, you know, not so much venting that it wrecks the rest of your day, but just enough to make you feel like you're not alone. She said that when her daughter was about the same age as my kid, she went through a major purging frenzy too. So like the kid would say: what's that mommy?

With a simple click on the internet, you can easily find out at what developmental stage your kid is at. You might read something like: at this age, your child is now obsessed with snaps and zippers. But what about mothers? There's nothing like: at this stage, you'll want to throw out everything you own for no apparent reason. So what's that all about?

I've been mulling over this while packing bags for the goodwill, and I think I've figured it out. It's about control. Theorists have labelled the period between 2 1/2 and 3 years old, one of disequilibrium, where children are confused, emotional, temperamental and have trouble completing tasks. Words that come to mind are: bossy, rigid, demanding, and temperamental. So what does this mommy do? As my kid becomes more and more rigid and demanding, I transfer my sense of control to the things in my home. My junk will not whine, change their mind, yell, or tell me what to do. I can just kick it to the curb! (Not that I want to do that with my kid, but you get the picture.)

clearing the barn

Revelations are always good for the soul. Does it mean that I'm unpacking my goodwill bags? No way. Inadvertently, my kid has taught me that it's good to have space; space to place things I really love, space to play, space to spend time together and space to recover.

Less plants to water, less baskets of knickknacks to fish around in, less toys to put away, less clothes to wash, less papers to deal with, less things to carry, easier surfaces to wipe= more time and more peace. Give me some of that.

Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt. Mommy, I want yogurt.


Oh look, do we really need this chair? Let's get rid of it!

Seeking Cabin Fever in the City

I just closed my eyes a moment ago, and listened to the rain. Memories of teenage bike trips to Pender Island came back to me. When we were 14 years old, twelve of us girls took the ferry, rode our bikes, and stayed in a small wooden A-frame cabin which belonged to our friend's parents. We had convinced our parents to let us go alone.  It might have rained every day we were there, but we had fun. Simple fun. We played cards, we took turned cooking meals, we braided each others' hair, we drew, read musty paperbacks, took walks down to the beach on windy days, warmed up with hot chocolate and did 1000 piece puzzles. We played "Hearts" and cribbage for hours. Sometimes if we positioned the radio a certain way we could hear music from a station in the states. All 12 of us slept in sleeping bags in the loft. When we got cabin fever, we jumped on our bikes and rode to the lake where we lay on the dock with our towels and dared each other to swim in the weeds. I remember doing that at night too. There were a zillion stars. It was a big deal to go to "town", town meaning a gas station, a small grocery store/a liquor store/ gift shop, because we had to ride far, up and down some steep hills, to get there. The only place to get clothes was at the Nu-to-U, a thrift shop that was only open on Mondays from 10 to 2pm.

There was no television, no telephones, no computers, no traffic, no appointments, no restaurants. There were tidal pools, bonfires, and frisbee golf.

It's old-school cabins, not designer cottages, maybe not without electricity and water, but quite possibly with an outhouse, are perfect places to remember the joy of simple living. This simple living allows you to spend more quality time alone, with others, and with nature. It's easy to relax. What if our city home was a cabin? What if we took turns making meals and doing chores? What if we took long walks along the beach, played cards, and read books on the couch? What if we wore the same clothes until they very visibly dirty? What if going to the store meant riding your bike for an an hour?

Is it possible?

My friend, whose parents owned this cabin moved back there permanently after high school graduation and it was hard for us city girls to imagine her being happy on a tiny island. We longed for big studies at big universities, long travels in exotic places, adventures and boys. We were wrong. She never moved, it's been 20 years now. I think she might be lucky.

Party Hats

Rain, Rain, Rain, Sun, Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain. That was this week's forecast. We were invited to a birthday party and every time I mentioned it, the kid said: "Where's my hat?", so on the one sunny day, the kid and I rode our bike to Urban Source and filled a bag with fun crafty things. Urban Source collects remnants, bits and pieces and thing-y-majigs from 100 different industries and serves it up in giant bins: stickers, lids, tubes, papers, stamps, lettering, postcards, photos, string, rubber bits, etc..I love this store because it gives your creativity a big jolt without breaking the bank. Our hats certainly brightened this rainy morning!

Soap Stubs and Twist Ties

Once you get started, seeking simplicity is like a soft tune you keep in mind throughout the day. I've noticed in the last couple of days that I am getting stressed about Father's Day and complaining about it to myself. Nice eh? Is that a sign or what? So let's make it simple and fun. The kid and I made a card with sprinkles, walked my husband's bike to World Cycles for a surprise tune up, and gathered some decorations. MUCH better and I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

These past few days, I've slowly cleaned out drawers, baskets, bags and pencil holders, putting things aside "stuff" for goodwill. It reminds me of the Chinese artist, Song Dong, who convinced his mother to allow him to display everything in her home. 10,000 personal items turned into the most mind blowing installation which he entitled "Waste Not".

His mother, Zhao Xiangyuan, was born in mainland China in the '30's. The huge political changes of the '50's and 60's robbed her family's wealth and her father was deemed a counter-revolutionary. She kept everything. For me, someone who has never lived through war, a depression or political upheaval, seeing piles of old pots, stubs of used soap and old shoes, was unusually beautiful and unreal.

I still remember the comparison Song Dong made between our generation which so easily acquires and throws out, and that of our grandparents. Chinese or not. Even when my grandmother passed away, my relatives were amazed by the amount of neatly organized, labelled jars of pencils stubs, plastic bags, margarine containers, twist-ties, etc... that she had kept in her home. Things that even goodwill probably wouldn't take. She never wasted either.

What's it like to not waste? I don't see myself keeping everything like Zhao Xiangyuan and my grandmother, so I guess the only way is to prevent things from coming in. So far, my 30 day list has helped toned down the spending and the shopping, but "things" should also include distractions, stress, time-wasters like television, negative thoughts, doing too much, multitasking, eating too fast, driving too fast and noise. Asking myself these questions also helps.

1. Is this "thing" supporting what's most important to me?
2. Is this "thing" useful, well made and aesthetically appealing?
3. What is the "cost" of keeping this "thing", cleaning it, repairing it and removing it when it longer works?

and so the soft tune keeps humming....

Simple Pleasures

As promised in my last post, I will be choosing tips for the Simple Living Manifesto on Zen Habits regularly and try to incorporate more simplicity in my life. I managed to carry through yesterday's tip of "Carry Less" into today, bringing home 4 library books, rather than 20 and doing a small run at the grocery store. The kid wanted to be carried, so instead of carrying him, I distracted him by giving him a loaf of bread to carry on his own.

For today, I choose number 59: Make a list of your favorite simple pleasures, and sprinkle them throughout the day. Here's my list. Only 10 out of 50 so far today. Gotta get my sprinkles out!

1. using a nice smelly soap in the shower
2. going to bed in clean sheets
3. sipping wine while cooking

4. dark chocolate

5. the good tired feeling after a workout

6. doodling, drawing or painting
7. reading a book in bed
8. hugs

9. watching the kid do something new and saying: I did it!

10. take-out on a day I don't want to cook
11. bowls of berries

12. singing to a tune in the car

13. seeing animals/birds/fish/bugs in the wild or at the Aquarium
14.taking pictures

15. writing

16. drinking a strong cup of coffee in the morning

17. riding my bike alone or with the kid
18. watching my kid ride his bike
19. making and eating crepes
20. buying less stuff
21. licorice at a movie
22. wrapping gifts
23. dancing to loud music
24. going to the beach
25. floating in the water
26. picnics
27. brunch with my girlfriends
28. hanging out with my mom
29. family dinners
30. getaways with my husband
31. blowing bubbles
32. hanging on the sidewalks with the neighbors and their kids
32. sharing a bbq with friends
33. helping out
34. receiving "good mail"
34. wearing jeans
32. wearing a bra that doesn't hurt
33. eating foods I like when they are in season
34. a clean room
35. a funny story and a good laugh
35. a pedicure
36. a massage
37. playing the piano

38. trying out a new recipe

39. window shopping on a nice street
40. going to vintage/antique stores

41. listening to my boy saying: Okay Mommy! with super enthusiasm

42. seeing joy on my husband's face when he talks about his car
43. doing a crossword/playing scrabble

44. looking at babies

45. waking up to sunshine
46. reading in bed with my husband before lights out
47. baking
48. when my husband comes home earlier than I thought

49. throwing the fresh laundry out of the dryer onto my son

50. when my husband says I'm beautiful

Side note:
I've been wanting to get a copy of "Simplicity Parenting" and when I went on the online library catalog, it said I had to register for an Adobe ID, download a software and then download the book onto my home computer. Not simple. Instead, I had the librarian order a hard copy for me and when it arrives at my local branch, I will receive an email. That's easy. Can't wait to read it!

legfull of pollen

In the Grand Scheme of Things

Maybe it's been the discouraging amount of summer clothes that spewed out of my closet and nearly buried me, or the family budget screaming at me for overspending but I've had a persistent desire to purge, to simplify, to cleanse, to do less, to buy less... The web of course is obese with tips on how to simplify life, but in the spirit of simplicity, I've chosen 3 choice places to read, Zen Habits, The Story of Stuff and mnmlist. (see below)

Blogger, writer and more, Leo Babauta, writes on his blog Zen Habits, a short and long list of what to do to lead a simple life. The short, simple list is this:

1. Identify what is most important to you

2. Eliminate everything else.

The Long List is long, 72 tips long, but basic. I've chosen one tip randomly on the list for today: Tip number 63: Carry less stuff. Um...

Maybe it's that ol' girl scout saying: "Be prepared" that is still drilled in my head, but on most days, my diaper bag is more like a mini earthquake kit; able to keep my kid and I self-sufficient for 72 hours. As I was dumping out it's content, on top of the regular diapers, wipes, wallet and keys, I realized that I've been hauling a tube of sunscreen, sunglasses and a sun hat for the last 30 rainy days, enough tampons for 2 months, 3 rolls of 5 cent coins I've been meaning to take to the bank, a side pocket full of crusty kleenex and a camera. I won't even start on what was in my wallet. 

A major trim down of the diaper bag took two lickety splits of a second, but now the trick is to keep things out of it. We all have something, admit it: books, ceramic figurines, the latest Iphone, toys, clothes, DVDs, beer glasses, shoes, it can be anything really.... and in the grand scheme of things, (no pun intended) is it really important for us to have more?

If this seems like a lot to remember and too difficult to do, watch this short movie on The Story of Stuff to see why we really have no choice but to simplify and consume less. Then read the simple and infrequent blog entries on Leo's other blog mnmlist to get used to letting things go.

Spend Less Month Update

I've started my 30 day wish list which simply works like this: every time you want to buy something, you write it down on your wish list, if after a month you still really desire it, then you can return to the store and purchase it. This 30 day wait also allows the universe to send things your way inexplicably.

On my 30 day wish list so far:

• Ikea shelf to house our crafts
• Sewing machine (this has been on my 2000 day list and I still want it)
• A frying pan
• More plants
• A kettle (I melted mine yesterday-oops)

Here's a list of some of the free things that have appeared in my life this month:

• I used up a consignment credit I had at Little Earth to buy the kid a new raincoat and presents for his little buddy's birthday.
• My mom donated beautiful flowers, rhubarb and chives from her abundant garden, yay! and a whack load of babysitting.
• We had our lovely neighbors over for a BBQ, pooled all our leftovers together and had a feast!
• A giant V of geese flew over our house, just now.
• Lots of good library books.
• 4 strawberries from my patio garden.
• A lovely glass of white wine and fun conversation, sitting on the stoop with my neighbor and her friend.
• A sunny day strolling around the city with my girlfriend and a free live Bhangra concert.
• 2 tickets to a play featuring my very talented friend.
• A weird, but interesting basket found by the garbage.
• A rainy morning at the Aquarium with my oldest and dearest friend and her family who were on their way back to Kelowna from a trip abroad. Saw some new penguins!
• A family bike ride through Strathcona while taking lots of fun photos.

Mural on near Stratchcona School

 How's my budget so far? Let's see.

There are 20 days left in June and most of my variable expense categories except for groceries are still at 0 or well below half allocated. So yay!