Living Your Values

Puppet show on the drive to Rio de Janeiro

It's been just over 2 years since my son was born and I've been a stay-at-home mom. People ask me all the time when I'll be going back to work, like staying at home couldn't possibly satisfy me completely. The thing is, I'm really good at being a stay-at-home mom. I am infinitely blessed that our slightly tight budget still allows me to take this fabulous unpaid job.  It's by far the most emotionally and physically demanding job I've ever had, but less stressful and free of office politics and mean gossip.  It utilizes many of my strengths and incorporates my values.

Years ago I wrote a list of activities that I enjoyed as my younger self like doing art and making forts. (see list below) Then I wrote out the reasons why I liked doing those activities. Certain words kept popping up, indicating my values.

• Being creative
• Being with people
• Learning and doing something new
• Fun
• Adventure
• Being thrifty 
• Moving my body and being outside

These values define who I am and have not changed since my childhood. As a stay-at-home mom, I am constantly using my creativity and my sense of fun and adventure to entertain, care, invent, imagine, feed, teach, and love my family. Would I be as happy as a stay-at-home mom is my values were expertise, travel, career advancement, or making money? Maybe, but it seems to me that I'm suited for this job, even if the hours are long. When am I going back to work? What do you mean? I am at work! and it suits me!

If you're interested in rediscovering some of your values, take a look at what I wrote below to get started. If you often have urges to run away to a tropical island to write a book or sell all your belongings to travel the world, it's usually because you're not able to incorporate your values in your life enough. I once had a cubicle job alone in a box with a computer. Every day I would cry all the way to work. 4 months later, I quit. None of my values were being met.

Take a quiet moment and have fun discovering yours!

Childhood

Drawing and Painting, Arts and Crafts:

I like colors.

I can give it away to someone and they are happy.

I made something nice that didn’t exist before.

It looks nice. Sometimes it tells a funny story.

I can be creative. It’s attractive.

I’m away from my own thoughts

Playing with my Barbie:

I make costumes for her out of remnants.

I like to comb her hair in different ways.

I play pretend that she has adventures and she meets Ken.

I can play Barbie with my friends and we invent scenarios together.

It’s creative. It’s playful and fun.

Hanging out with mom:

We cook together

We sew clothes for the summer

We go to Madame Pas Cher and pick out clothes

We sing songs

We have arts and crafts projects and I give them to Jim

We prepare for Holidays together

We go outside and play

It’s fun. We are creative together. There’s a sense of adventure.

Making forts

We use our imagination and build cool towers and tunnels

Making the fort is more interesting than the end product

We invent stories about our fort

We build something new.

Playing Lego

We use our imagination to build cool things

We can take it apart and start over.

Every project turns out different.

Playing games

We can play board games and have fun

We make up our own games and rules and then try out different ways to make the game more fun.

It’s fun. We are creative together.

Camping

We can be outside and enjoy nature

We learn new sports like canoeing and skiing

We can swim and eat yummy food

We sing songs and make a fire

We learn new things

I move my body. I am in nature. I’m learning.

Spending time at my cousins

We have fun building forts

We invent games to play

We swim in the pool and ride our bikes

We are outside and the weather is nice

My aunts and uncles are funny and nice and cook yummy food for us

It’s so much fun. I feel part of a group.

Visiting Grandmaman and Grandpapa

We get to travel

We visit them and they are so nice

We eat food we don’t normally get to eat

Grandmaman lets me help with her cooking

She gives me presents.

She makes me something that she knitted that I can wear.

I like to go in the garage and look at the hand prints on the walls, I’m scared that the floor will fall through. There’s lots of junk up there and it’s like a treasure.

I like the smell of the town and of the house.

During the holidays, the whole family is there and we sing songs, play games and exchange presents. Everybody is happy.

It’s an adventure. I feel loved.

Adolescence

Sewing

I can create something cool

My friends praise my talent

I look different than everybody else

It’s like a puzzle and I can use different fabrics

I feel pretty in what I make

I can do this with a friend and it’s fun

Photography

I can walk around outside and see things in a different way

I can’t tell how anything will come out until I develop it

I like to experiment in the dark room

Ceramics

I like to play with dirt

It’s creative and I have to concentrate to make it look good.

Something useful comes out in the end

I can be creative, it’s visually attractive. It’s useful.

Halloween

I start thinking about it early and think of all the options

I try to think of a cheap and creative way to make a fantastic costume

I like search around for the materials and putting it all together

I can sew, glue, and draw

I get praise from others when I’m done and I feel proud

It’s fun

I can pretend I am someone else

I can be creative, it’s visually attractive. It’s fun.

Travel

I like to go to new places with friends

It’s fun to organize what we will need to make the trip a success

We can be outside

We can meet new people

We can get to know each other better

We can try new things, like food, activities, sports

We can see new things, nature, cities, architecture

I like to go to thrift stores when I’m traveling

I like to plan fun things to do during our travel, like games and contests

I can be with my friends

I can be free of work and just enjoy

I can go camping

Anticipating something new. Looking for something worth the money. Seeing new things every day. Spending time with others.

Playing Sports

I feel good when I exercise

It’s fun to be with friends

It feels good when we win

I like to go different places to play

I like to learn new sports and get better and better at them

Being part of a group. Moving my body. Feeling alive.

Thrift Stores

I never know what I’m going to find

I have an eye for unusual things

I like to buy cool things and have them in my house

I feel good because I got a good deal and I saved something from the dumpster

I think older things are often more interesting than new things

I like to have different things in my home and people come over and look at them and are interested in them

Sense of adventure. Looking for something unique. Reusing. Like a treasure.

Making Gifts for Others

I like to find interesting things to make gifts with

I like to use my sense of design to make something attractive

I like to use paper and fabric

I built pillows, journals, bed spreads, paintings, painted boxes and suitcases

Every project is different

I like to give to others

I like wrapping gifts creatively

Creative, I can use lots of different materials. I like to give away what I make.

Young Adulthood

Traveling

Planning and reading about new places to go

Driving and not knowing what comes around the bend

Seeing beautiful nature

Meeting new people and seeing how they live their life

Eating new food

Learning new things everyday

Relaxing

Having fun trying new things everyday

Telling others about where I’ve been

Sharing the experience with someone else

Planning and keeping track of the budget

Swimming, camping, hiking

Exploring all the options

Sense of adventure

Looking at new people and things. Looking at scenery, architecture. Listening to new sounds and eating new things. Appreciating nature. Feeling free and without stress.

Hosting Parties

Planning ahead of time an interesting theme

Making decorations and costumes

Planning the food and cooking

Drinking and socializing

Preparing games or playing board games

Making people feel comfortable and happy. Entertaining them.

Taking Classes

Learning something new

Meeting new people

Doing something creative, design, writing, projects, presentations

Being resourceful

Sharing my knowledge with others

Learning something new.

Decorating

Going to thrift stores and decorating my house in different ways

Rearranging furniture

Painting

Sewing cushions and curtains

Making art to go on the walls

Having people over to enjoy a nice meal

Going to garage sales to find what I need

Creative. Thrifty. Color. Texture. Mood.

Imagining myself else where

Teaching

Finding ways to make things fun and instructive at the same time

Laughing

Meeting new people and learning new things from them

Developing curriculum

Being in front of people

Performing

Inventing games and ice-breakers

Leading by example

Generating hope

Helping others

Helping others, sense of accomplishment when someone gets it. Fun

Surprising Others

Collecting interesting data about the world to surprise others

Learning a magic trick

Finding interesting products on the market and buying them as a gift

Making homemade gifts for others

Telling funny jokes

Making people feel good. Smile. Using my creativity.

Rainy Day Fun List!

Okay, it's raining again.Take a look at my list of fun things to do. I wrote this out years ago when I used to live in a basement apartment, which if you've never experienced living at grass level or lower, can really make you feel like lump of wet moss. These ideas help the clouds move along.

1. Take a pair of scissors for a walk in the garden. Cut branches, pick leaves or grass, take some rocks or dead twigs home and arrange them in a pot. If you don’t have a garden ask a neighbor if it’s okay to snip a few branches from their bushes, but remember, public parks and gardens are scissor-free zones!
   
2. Brainstorm and come up with a perfect slogan for yourself or your family. Write it out on a big piece of paper, include photos of everyone or draw one another around your slogan and post it in a place where everyone can see it everyday. The refrigerator or the bathroom mirror is a great place to hang your slogan. Here are some ideas to get you going: We are the best and we do the best we can! Giving is receiving! or Everything is possible!
   
3. Take a soothing hot bath. Make sure to use lots of bubbles and start a new book, something about exotic lands and romantic encounters on deserted tropical beaches. 
   
4. Promote good health at work. Overtake the tidbits with bowls of fruits, veggies and humus, dried fruits and nuts, and herbal teas. I used to bring frozen fruit pops.
   
5. When was the last time you had the kind of non-stop, rib-busting, fall over, pee in your pants kind of laugh? Find out where your local stand-up comedians work and visit one night after work.  Theatersports is also a fabulous way to laugh your head off!
   
6. Pull out your colored crayons and your artistic talents! Make a list of everyone in your family and then imagine them as an animal, give them a few super powers and then go ahead and draw them. 
   
7. Card Crazy! Teach someone a card game you know or learn a new one. You can find all kinds of fun things to do with cards on-line or at your local library. Learn a magic trick, build a card castle or practice multiplications. 
   
8. Make it a board game night! Trade a board game with friends or neighbors if you are tired of the ones you have at home or make it a family custom to purchase a new one every year- Choose any day on the calendar and call it BOARD DAY! 
   
9. Make crepes in a blender. Set up a buffet to go along with them; coconut, nut butters, fruits, nutella, jam, lemons, brown sugar, cinnamon, apple sauce, syrup, seeds etc...
   
10. Write a letter to your grand-parents and tell them all about your favorite things. Ask them you tell you all about their favorite things. Try to think of interesting questions like: “ What’s your favorite dream? What’s your favorite book?” “ What was your favorite toy when you were a kid?”
    
11. Go to the library and get the librarian to choose a biography for you! Read all about that person and share what you learned with your family and friends. Ask about your ancestors and what they were like.
    
12. Pull out 5 items (or more) from your closet/garage/basement/pantry and make a box for your local charity. Look on their website to see what else they might need that you don’t use anymore. Some charities even pick-up items from your home!
    
13. Isn't it funny when you go hiking all the people that you run into on the trail always say hi,wave or make a friendly comment about the trail, yet, in the city, people often completely look the other way and ignore each other. Make it a point today to smile at 3 people, just 'cause it feel good for you.
    
14. Imagine yourself as an astronaut and looking down at the earth or as an underwater welder swimming through a cloud of clown fish. Why not spend a few hours researching a new career- choose something out of your ordinary; an animal trainer, a pageant organizer, an inventor, a candy-tester, a clown or a stock broker.
    
15. Choose one thing in your home and try to imagine how it was invented and why. Explain how it has progressed and what will happen to it in the future and see if your speculations are right by looking it up on-line or at the library.
    
16. Write down the Grand Master List of all Times. This is a list of all the things you want to do in your life. Go bananas with it. Imagine you are 6. What would you actually write down?
    
17. Let’s face it, poetry is not popular, at least not in my circle of friends, but why not rediscover your poetic self and write a poem. Start small with roses are red....
    
18. Walk down to your local community center.  You might find yourself learning how to make sushi, throw a wobbly bowl in pottery class or taking adult ballet classes. If you have an idea, why not suggest it to them? You never know who else in the area has the same passions as you. 
    
19. Here’s a really scary idea, something most people would rather jump in a boiling vat of hot oil rather than do this, but I really want to suggest joining a Toastmasters club. Imagine how proud of yourself you would be if you could talk in front of people without having a panic attack or a neck full of hives?
    
20. Wake up your taste buds. There are millions of free recipes online, or borrow one from a friend. Try something new with a new ingredient. Something like….kasha or quinoa, or maybe seaweed or kale. Invite a neighbor to eat your experiment.
    
21. Some of us, and I won’t name names are still typing with only 2 fingers. Why not put the other fingers to use with the help of an online typing test. 
    
22. If you are like me, you learned in elementary school how to play the recorder. Now, the recorder has never been a very popular instrument and I rarely see it in rock videos, but it’s a great way to relearn the joy of making music for a measly $10. Another option could be the harmonica. When you find that you get better at a certain song, learn another. If you are already musical, run down to your local music store and buy a new book or trade with a friend.
    
23. Take an atlas or a map and choose a country. Try a country you wouldn’t necessary think of.  For me, I don’t know much about Iceland, Hungary, the Ivory Coast or Panama and many others. Once you’ve picked one, research all about it’s history, people, food, traditions, religions, and attractions. You’d surprised where you might end up going on your next vacation.
    
24. Look at the list below and do one of the things on the list that you haven’t done in the last 2 months. You’ll feel better, trust me. A) Get a haircut. B) Change your bed sheets C) Wash and vacuum your car  D) Throw out any lonely socks. E) Wash you pet   F) Write or call your relatives that live far away  G) Clean out the “Junk Drawer”  H) Have your bike and or piano tuned. I) Gather up paints cans, car batteries and other chemicals and return them to your local recycling depot. 
    
25. Replace all your environmentally-unfriendly cleaning products with the magic of vinegar! Get a spray bottle and fill it with water and vinegar, this works for everything from windows to counter tops. For crustier jobs, use warm water, soda and elbow grease.
    
26. Call around and find out if the local museums have a ‘cheaper” day or night and if not, ask if you can volunteer in return for free or reduced admission. The Vancouver Art Gallery is by donation on Tuesday nights.
    
27. Find out which local beach or park needs a spring cleaning and suit up for the great outdoors. Keep Vancouver Spectacular is great way to help clean the city and meet your neighbors.
    
28. If you’re an adult, go to the children’s section of the library. Look for books you used to read as a child. I promise you’ll have a smile on your face when you leave. The “Humor/Cartoon” section is always good for a laugh too!  

Cycling with the Kid

Last summer my husband and I investigated all the different ways to ride your bike with your kid. Then we spent a whole lot of energy and time looking for used options, which never materialized and then the weather got bad. This year, I learned my lesson; if you can find it used quickly, go for it, if not, pay full price and enjoy! So look at me, it's mid April and I forked out a pretty penny ($275), but boy am I having fun.

Here is a run-down of some of top considerations I took to make my choice:

1. Trailers are great because your kid can ride in all kinds of weather, you can take more than one kid and a bag of beach toys, plus it's easy for you to haul them. Most trailers double as a stroller which can be handy when you reach your destination, although it can be a pain to fit through shop doors. However, you can't talk to your kids while riding and trailers tend to be the most expensive option. This would be good choice for moms and dads who commute and take their kids to daycare/school by bike.

2. Rear seats are a cheaper option, but the view ain't the nicest. In general, I found that most people didn't like this option because it was hard to balance.

3. Front seats have several benefits: your kid can "feel" what it's like to ride a bike, they have an excellent view, plus you can talk to them while you ride. The extra bonus, your kid can push all the crosswalk buttons on your route and ring the bell. Balancing is surprisingly easy, even if it looks weird to have a kid attached to your handlebars. Another consideration we took with this option was that we could load our bikes on the bus/skytrain and in our car more easily than with a trailer, that way we could go to the dikes in Richmond, Stanley Park, and Barnston Island. One disadvantage might be that if it starts to rain, which is often does in Vancouver, your kid will get soaked, but isn't that kind of fun anyways?

We opted for the IBert which has received good reviews. It's a bit pricey, about $175, plus I had to make some adjustments to my bike, but it was well worth the price. It is SO much fun! I was riding along with my son to the farmer's market this weekend and a lady who was watering her front yard yelled at me: "Don't you love that bike seat?" "We love it!" I yelled back with a yipee!

If you want to see a zillion other happy Iberts click here! or me and the kid.

En Francais, oh la la!

I'm having trouble beginning this post, mostly because what I'm trying to share is not easy to describe without getting all academic. I recently attended a workshop with other French speaking parents about language and identity where questions were posed which I've listed below. Most brought up strong emotions for me.

1. En reflechissant a vos experiences passees racontez-moi ou vous viviez dans un espace francophone qui vous permettait, a vous, votre famille, vos amis, vos enfants, vos collegues, vos voisins,... de vous epanouir, de creer des liens entre vous et de construire votre identite en tant que personne. Ou etiez vous? Qu'est-ce qui se passait? Comment decririez-vous cet espace francophone? Qu'est-ce qui le distinguait? Qui a joue un role dans la creation de cet espace francophone et comment?
2. Parlez moi d'une personne, dans votre millieu francophone, qui a eu un grand impact sur vous et sur ce que vous etes devenu comme personne?
3. Comment, en tant que parent, pourriez-vous devenir un modele d'appui a la francophonie pour votre enfant?
4. Quels gestes posez-vous pour vous enraciner, comme francophone en Colombie-Britannique? Quels gestes posez-vous pour vous deraciner?

• Think back in your life and tell me about a time when you lived in a French "space" which allowed you, your family, your friends, your children  your collegues your neighbors, to really be yourself, to create bonds with each other and to build your identity as the person you are now. Where were you? What was going on? How would you describe this "space"? What was special about it? Who played a role in the creation of this "space" and how?
• Tell me about a person in your French community, who had a significant impact on you and on becoming who you are as a person.
• How, as a parent could you become a "French-speaking" model for your child?
• What actions do you take to strengthen your French roots while living in BC? Which actions do you take which do not?

After some contemplation and in a nut shell:

• Speaking French and being with others who do too is part of who I am.
• It was something that shaped me as a person. It allowed me to experience unique things.
• I may be completely immersed in an English community now, but it can't be erased.
• There's a part of me that identifies with the Anglo-slightly spiced Asian feel of Vancouver, but I crave the comfort and "joie-de-vivre" of French speaking culture.
• Letting French go, is like letting myself go. (In the getting lazy-fat way, not the freedom way.)
• It's important to me to reconnect with my French identity and to share it with my son.
• It's a connection to his ancestors and his roots which needs to be nurtured.

So what do I do so far to live as a French speaker now?

• I listen to Espace Musique every day on CBC.
• I borrow books and magazines in French from the library.
• I speak about %60 of the time to my son in French.
• I read all his books (French or English) and sing all the songs I know in French.
• I attend "Franc-Depart" at l'Ecole Anne-Hebert once or twice a month.
• I crave cheese and make crepes on Sundays. :)

Could I do more?  Of course I can.

• Attend community events or library sing-alongs.
• Go to "Franc-Depart" more frequently.
• Find a French-speaking community for myself.
• Read and write in French, plus figure out how to add the accents on my computer.
• Re-record my answering machine message.
• Sign-up for Quebec Loisirs and Scholastics.
• Switch to Telus to access children's programs in French, Caillou is Calliou after all!

Why am I writing this in English then? Because I think that this can apply to anyone who speaks another language other than English. Even if you've lost some of it or even most of it. Even if only your parents speak it. It's so important to foster these languages and the culture around them as they are part of you and inevitably will be part of your children. Your dad is French and your mom is Russian, but grew up in Morocco, isn't that cool?

And to the countless people who have told me over the years. "Oh, I tried French in high school and the teacher was a strict b*****, so I gave up." So what? " But I forget the words and I can't spell." No excuses. Try again. Or try Portuguese, or Lebanese, reconnect to your roots or your interests. You'll thank yourself later.  I invite you to share your answers to the questions above and share your stories with me. Just click on the post to access the comment section. A bientot!

Vieux Port de Montreal

  

The World Cycles

It's about time I write a bit about "The World Cycles" on our street. Danu opened his bike shop just after we moved in a few years ago. He's super friendly and you can tell he's really passionate about bikes. Not only does he offer top-notch service, he has a fantastic collection of old Schwinns, newer bikes for all different uses, and any other bits and pieces you might need.  On any sunny day, there is a constant stream of people whizzing down the hill in front of our house, testing out his vintage bikes. You'd be hard-pressed to see one of them without a giant smile on their face.
Danu rides the ride, if you can say that. He commutes from Lynn Valley on his retro-fitted electric Schwinn to save his legs for mountain biking on his days off. (lol) As for me, I already had a pretty good old Rocky Mountain, but I wanted that cruiser feel, so Danu set me up with a set of wide handlebars and voila! This season, I'm going to add on some "paniers" for my farmer's market yummies, and a nice seat for the boy. Trust me, it's worth a little detour on your wheels to come check out The World Cycles.

Babe, if You're Reading This

Hi Babe! I was walking in the lanes, having some mommy-time, and I saw this graffiti. I thought it was so true. Your kiss IS on my list, AND it's a song from the 80's, so how perfect!

Collecting the Grieving Greens

"Mommy sad ", says my 2 year old son to me as I sit on the kitchen floor waiting for beets to cook through. "You're right. Mommy sad. Can I have a hug?"

When I received the sad news this morning that a friend from the past had passed away, a multitude of feelings overtook me. Today, I let these feelings flow by. I notice them, feel them and let them go. I honor my friend by thinking of her and the friendship we had. Time passed and our paths changed directions, but she often popped into my mind and I wondered how she was. And then, I would run into her on the street and we'd chat. We promised to meet, but we never did. But it was okay. I could tell she wished me happiness and I did too.

It's a good day to garden. Being yardless is a good thing for a green gardener like me. My patios are small and contain my grandiose ideas of wild, overgrown, gardens with hidden paths and water fountains. I've started to collect pots, herbs and plants. Advice too. I hope to create a space where I can sit when the weather is more consistently warm to rest my body and my mind. A place to feel the wind and sun while my boy is napping.

It's soothing to nurture nature while thoughts of my friend pass by. She's not fighting anymore. I wish wild overgrown gardens overtake those she left behind, hide them and let them be lulled by water fountains. Let them be at peace too.