Simplicity Parenting-Environment

For fear of this post turning into a book report, I would like to share some of the key information in Simplicity Parenting that stood out for me without going on about it at length, right? Keeping it simple. Why? In case some of you are still operating on a few hours of sleep a night or already captivated by good bedside reading.

In the introduction, the author, Kim John Payne, praises simplicity and simplifying life for kids. No one can deny that our world often feels packed with too much stuff, too many choices and not enough time; I've certainly raced in my car to get coffee, disappointed that they didn't have my usual brand and overwhelmed by the choice of beans: organic or not, 12oz for $13.99 or 14oz for $14.99, fairtrade, ethical or not, locally or faraway brewed, super yummy, yummy or drinkable.....argh! So what about kids? What's the kid version of my coffee dilemma? How can we, as parents, offer a safe place to just be kids, away from the hyperspeed of daily life, a way for kids to be free and to discover their individuality?

Environment is the first section of the book which offers tips on reducing toys, clutter and books, as well as sounds, smells and light. Here are some points collected from this section which I thought were interesting:

1.  The average child has 150 toys.
2.  Pester-power usually wins. That's why marketers have increased advertising dollars from $100 million in 1983 to $16 billion in 2009.
3.  A smaller quantity of toys invites deeper play and engagement. An avalanche of toys creates emotional disconnect and a sense of overwhelm.

So, TOYS, to chuck or not to chuck? (Or give to goodwill) Start with this list and chuck:

1. Broken toys.
2. Developmentally inappropriate toys.
3. Conceptually "fixed" toys; toys based on characters from movies, comic books or tv which leads to wanting "more of that series".
4. Toys that "do too much" and break too easily; "do too much" meaning that don't lead to imagination. (Usually toys with lots of buttons)
5. Very high simulation toys: toys with flashing lights, mechanical voices, speed, sound effects intended to "excite" and "stimulate" kids.
6. Annoying or offensive toys: I admit we have a few of these I still haven't been able to tune out.
7. Toys that claim to give a developmental edge. Play is not a race. It is not an advancement opportunity.
8. Pester-Power toys you succumbed to.
9. Toys that inspire and glorify violence.
10. Toy multiples. (oh, boy, this one is tough. The kid loves his cars and trucks.)

What's left? You'd be surprised that a manageable amount of well-made, attractive, "quieter" toys invites imaginary play and encourages kids to create new worlds and new ways to play without having to replenish the pile so frequently.

And BOOKS, how many is too many? Books can follow the same rules as toys. The suggested amount is to offer 1-2 accessible books for children under 8-9 years old. REALLY? This one was hard to accept given my love of the library, but considering that the kid usually only wants to read 1-2 books over and over, I think the author might onto something....

CLOTHES too must be simplified. This is something I think I've finally managed to tame and I can't tell you how easy it is now to get the kid dressed; I've whittled it down to 4 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, 2 long sleeve tops, 5 t-shirts, 1 swimsuit, 3 pyjamas, a coat, 2 sweaters, 1 pair of shoes, 1 pair of rubber boots and a handful of socks. Goodbye to pulling out a pair of pants and triggering an avalanche of other pants. As the author states, clothes only need to say one thing: "I'm comfortable and ready to play!"

Reducing artificial SMELLS (a.k.a chemicals), in the home such as air fresheners, scented candles, perfumes, and cleaning products allow mom and dad's natural smell to linger and to create a sense of safety. This part was easy for me since I'm not big on " Ocean Breeze" and "Hawaiian Dew".

LIGHT also plays a big part of a child's environment. Reducing bright or fluorescent light as well as the glow of tv and computer screens quiets the mind and slows the body. My kid loves sunshine. Sunshine! he yells enthusiastically as he looks out the window. (Some months of the year, I yell the same thing in disbelief) He also loves darkness, he calls it "NOIR", not to mention his obsession with "fooas", his word for flames. We light a candle to entice him to take a bath on most nights.

I've been on this "simplicity" kick for a few months now, and I had started to purge our home of unnecessary clutter, and already cleared most of the kid's toys and clothes, so I was happy to read that my plan had a significant impact on the well being of my kid. I probably could get my hands on a few more toy cars..

The next sections in the book talk about rhythm and schedules which I will review in a later post. For now, I am completely thrilled to watch my kid prepare "shakes" with a coffee container, toy cups and block kiwis.