Simplicity Parenting-Schedules

You might guess what this section of Simplicity Parenting is all about when you read the title. "Over-scheduled kids" is not really news and it's been discussed since the '80's when David Elkind suggested in his book, The Hurried Child, that busy parents might be pushing their kids toward adulthood too quickly.

So what's the difference between 30 years ago and now? Apparently, in the 80's, kids had 40% of their day for free time after school, eating, sleeping and homework. By the late 90's that free time had dropped to 25%. Parents have felt unfairly blamed by these findings, and I can see why when other findings show that on average elementary kids spend 1hour and 20 minutes a night on homework. Um....Being a kid of the '80s, I do remember spending a ton of time playing with my friends and my brother. We were only allowed 1/2 day of tv a day and 1 hour on Saturdays for cartoons. There were no computers, cell phones, or video games. There was a ton of crafts, fort building, snow tunnels, cardboard boxes, dolls, Lego, biking, and swimming. I do remember doing scheduled activities, but I don't remember doing more than one activity a time.

Even though my son is only two, I have noticed a gentle "push" from other moms to join in on scheduled classes: music, art, yoga, gymnastics, soccer, swimming, etc...but just as it is advocated in this chapter, balance is key. Plus, I refuse to spend $20 a pop for a kid's yoga class. We do our own bending for free. Another thing I've noticed is the proliferation of private "tutoring" businesses around the city, especially on the west side. Is it an Asian value that has been transferred here by the Tiger Moms? Are other parents catching the feline flu and wanting their kids to be concert pianists by the age of 4 while reciting the names of the capital cities in alphabetical order while playing chess? Is that what kids need to survive the future? Man, better run out and get Baby Einstein cue cards today, just in case! (sarcasm inserted here)

I have read a lot about "Tiger Moms",  and "Snow Plow Parents" (parents who clear every obstacle in their kids' way).  The Globe and Mail ran recently posted a parenting article titled: Are our pampered kids under too much pressure? which supports that over-scheduling children in an effort to give them an "edge" for the future simply backfires as relentlessly pushed and overloaded kids today are depressed, anxious, and experiencing psychosomatic disorders.

One example quoted in the article is from a book, Teaching Your Children Well,  which I thought was really interesting. When parents were asked what they thought success for their kids was, they answered; for them to be happy, well-adjusted, responsible etc... When their kids were asked what their success is, they stated: making a lot of money. Very telling, no?

According to Simplicity Parenting, interesting results from having more unscheduled/down time are that...

• It gives kids the ability to direct themselves, "enjoy" the feeling of boredom, and to find ways to fill their own time. 
• It allows kids to grow "roots" so that they feel strong when they are engaged in scheduled activity.
• It allows kids to be bored, which is a precursor to creativity.

Also interesting is that:

• Ordinary days allow the sensational days to shine, renews his your kid's a sense of anticipation and in turn, builds character.
• The messiness of free play with many changes, active problem solving and empathy for others gives kids inner flexibility.
• General, free physical play strengthens skills for organized sports.

So overall, I am reminded by this chapter, that it's okay to have ordinary days, that the kid needs to feel bored at times, and the "edge" I can pass on to my kid is the gift of lifelong balance and the importance of downtime. I am excited to see the world all over again through my kid's eyes, just like the other day when he realized that he could eat the ice cream and the cone too, but I am reminded, all in good time, all in good time....

Future soccer player?