Cleaning Up my Own Cleaning Habits

It must be because the season is changing that just like spring cleaning, I feel like there is more to do around the house. The patio garden needs tending, outdoor furniture needs to be put away and little household repairs seem to pop up everywhere, probably because we spent all our time outside during the summer and didn't notice.

I am always grateful that I live in a 1200 square foot townhouse and depending on who you are and where you live, you might think that was tiny or maybe pretty decent. Mostly it's because any bigger and the cleaning and repairs would seem overwhelming. And when that feeling creeps up, I get mad and resentful and my poor husband has to hear about it. A lot.

Serendipity is always at work, because just a day after I complained to my husband that he wasn't pulling his weight around the house, I read Leo's new post on Zen Habits  which hit me like a big rubber mallet on the head. This quote especially:

"Cleaning and decluttering, for me, are mindfulness practices. They are not chores that I dread, nor ways to strive for a perfect living environment, but ways to practice living in the present moment. As such, they are some of my favorite things to do.
I wipe a counter with a rag, but I’m not doing it thinking, “This kitchen is so dirty!” (judgment) or “I wish people would clean up after themselves!” (expecting things to be different) or “I have a lot of work to do today” (future thinking) or “My son really got on my nerves when he said that this morning” (dwelling on the past). Or at least, when I do think these things, I notice them, and return to the wiping."

So for the past few days, I've been noticing what my mind and body are doing when cleaning. I've been trying to slow down and pay more attention to only the act of cleaning. It's amazing what you can notice about a cutting board when you are mindfully washing it. Here are some guidelines which I thought were useful to clean without thinking, "This never ends." or "Why am I the only person cleaning up after themselves?"

1. When you clean, just clean. Don’t plan, don’t have your mind on the next task as you’re doing the current task, don’t listen to a podcast or watch TV as you’re doing the task at hand. Just wipe. Just sweep. Just declutter. Just wash, just rinse.

2. Do your work with gratitude and compassion. Before you start, remember to be grateful for what you have, for being able to clean or declutter. Be grateful for the people you have in your life, and remember why you’re grateful for them. Then remember you’re cleaning out of compassion: for the people in your life, so that their day might be a bit better for having a clean counter or sink, for yourself, so that you might have a nice uncluttered space in which to read a good book. This is your intention, and it will help you remember to be mindful.

3. Pay attention to your thoughts, body, actions. Practice focusing your attention: on the rag, on the broom, on the dust. But also notice your thoughts: are you thinking about other things? Are you judging others? Are you wishing things were different? Are you angry? Don’t banish the thoughts, but notice them. Then return to the cleaning. Notice too as you clean your body, and your breathing. Notice everything about the moment, immerse yourself in the moment.

4. Leave no trace. This, of course, is a philosophy of those who use the outdoors — to have a minimal impact on the land, to leave only footprints and take only pictures. But what about in our homes and workplaces? These aren’t quite as natural as a lake or mountain, perhaps, but they are our habitats. We must live here, often with loved ones, and so we should be mindful of the impact we’re having on this habitat. Leave no trace means that you don’t leave a mess, that you dispose of your waste properly, that you are respectful of other people in your space.

 

How many times will I have to hit myself over the head with my imaginary rubber mallet before it finally sinks in that it's only about me and my thoughts. If I choose to change my thoughts, the "task" takes on an entire different meaning and feels much better. I might have to hit myself a few more times, it's repetitive, but it doesn't hurt.I also liked Leo's  suggestions some of which I've already implemented, but others I hadn't thought about:

1. Wash and put away your bowl. (other dishes too, but I think he means as if it was your favorite bowl or cup and to imagine these "tools" as special and needing special care.)
2. Clean as you go. Don’t pile things on the counters or in the sink. (guilty!)
3. Have a toilet brush near the toilet, and if you notice it even a little dirty after you use it, take the brush and give the bowl a quick swish and flush. (I just came back from the store with a swisher today and the boy was so excited, he ran upstairs to clean the toilet!)
4. Keep flat surfaces clear. Floors should have only furniture and rugs.
5. Take care of your tools as if they were your own eyes.
6. Be gentle with those around you. (Good advice Leo! Sorry, my man!)
7. You are already there. This is not a set of ideals to aspire to, a standard of perfection to achieve. This is a mindfulness practice, and if you are cleaning or decluttering mindfully, you have already arrived.

Don't you love this last suggestion? It is not a set of ideals to aspire to, a standard of perfection to achieve. It is a mindfulness practice! This was the missing piece and if I catch myself feeling resentful or angry while cleaning, I hope I remember to stop, refocus, and be in the present moment.